“People who claim they don’t let little things bother them have never slept in a room with a single mosquito” – by un-bothered-to-google author
We sometimes give into self-simplifications of the worst kind. We fall prey to the beguiling pitfalls of self-idealization. We confuse being the shit with being shit. As Roth said, more or less: we get it wrong, then we get it wrong again, finally, upon long consideration and close-quarters inspection, get it ass-backwards yet again. About ourselves maybe even more than about other people because we‘re truly invested – it sucks running around knowing all too precisely what a sucker you are. Or for what a three-time looser others take you. So you go ahead and erase cognitive dissonance to the best of your dissimulative abilities.
There are plenty erasures for sure but one of my pet ones has been that I have no natural enemies, that I have no nemesis [shorthand for natural enemies? no!]. To what end have I been imagining this? Of course it would be becalming to go through life thinking there is nobody out there intent on hurting you. That you have whiled away your hours thus far without mortally upsetting anybody else‘s to the point where s/he now would wish to do likewise unto you [meaning you have been a good person, no?]. All this would be good and it might even be the case, I have no empirical clue to decide either way.
However, it doesn‘t insure an adversary-free existence. The last forteen nights I painfully discovered that at the very least mosquitos are my sworn enemies.
The plural is not quite right. I get one enemy per night, ready to sting the living shit out of me as soon as I down my lids. Certain night I got lucky and heard their buzz before they got to pierce my epidermis so bloody shamelessly. Other nights I woke up with a bad sting and fury in my guts.
Well, first I have to say that I do wish to cause as little suffering in this world as I can. And I don‘t kill or injure any type of animal consciously. I even tumbler&paper-sheet-escort gadflies to their under-deserved freedom. Same for moths, ants, spiders other assorted creepy-crawlies. I ingest Quorn et al. for nutrition in lieu of plastic-sealed carrion. Yet when it comes to Mosquitoes I have decided to draw a harsh life&death-line. The fuckers suck my blood, my blood!…after having sucked god knows what other critters. Not just that. They are supremely negligent [even nihilistic] about their own continued existence; only just having escaped a lethal swipe they re-alight on your face/body in less than 60 seconds. The bites itch worse than perenially unwiped orifices. I cannot accept this, the mosquito flown into my room, come to suck my blood while I haplessly sleep, I am willing to fully stop. A deadly cessation of any further stinging. Death to Culex!